He taught us what armpits are really for. Time to reward him.

Dad. He fixed our plastic kitset Supermarine Spitfire when we found out the hard way it couldn’t actually fly. He taught us that working with wood is one of the greatest pleasures known to mankind. He introduced us to the joy and creative wonder that is the lower intestinal tract. He bit his lips when the gear stick graunched like a turtle in a blender during our first driving lesson. And he bit them again when we told him we were pursuing a career in advertising.

What did we do in return? We named a genre of flaccid jokes and an ungainly dance style after him. We got him to drop us round the corner from Senior Formal. We blamed him for our oddly shaped nose and balding pate.

Why is it that dads get such a raw deal – especially when it comes to being recognised for the superstars they are? Each year, spending on Father’s Day is typically a little over half what it is on Mother’s Day.

It’s time to redress the balance, sons and daughters.

You know how spectacular and deserving your dad is, and we’d love to hear about his gloriousness too. And to make it worth your while, we’ll reward the top five “my amazing dad” stories we receive with $500 off one of our classic Pashley gentlemen’s bicycles.

Make him proud with his very own Pashley Countryman, Guv’nor, Speed 3, Speed 5, Pathfinder Trail or Pathfinder Tour. Any superdad will love these top-of-the-range, hand-built, timelessly styled works of art.

Just email me at adam@blackwellandsons.nz by 6pm on Friday 28 August with your dad story, tell me the model of bicycle your dad would prefer, and you’re in the running. And if he can’t decide from these six beauties by the 28th, you can opt for a $500 voucher so he’s got a bit more pondering time.

Thanks to a certain crown-shaped pestilence, it might not be possible to deliver dad’s Pashley in time for Father’s Day, but at the very least you’ll be able to show him what’s coming, ruffle his delightfully unkempt hair, and say “look, dad, this is what I bought for you, because you’re awesome!”

And he’ll reply, deadpan: “Blinkin’ bewdy. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?”

Sigh.

“Because it was two-tired.”