They look like they’re made out of Gandhi’s legs but (just like the great man), despite appearances, they’re immensely strong, resilient, reliable and no matter how many times you break them down they’ll continue to serve you with smooth assurance. Behold the magnificent Moulton – an ultra-high-performance go-anywhere bicycle that collapses into a suitcase!
In a surprisingly bold move, the Ministry for Commerce has responded to urgent calls by owner-operated retailers for a binding Code of Conduct governing customers and slack-jawed time-killers who enter their premises. The Code, currently in draft form, aims to curtail behaviours that have driven retailers to chemical distraction since commerce was invented. Here’s an exclusive peek at some of its pointier clauses. Wording is verbatim.
A Brooks genuine leather bicycle saddle and Svetlana, the eastern European masseuse, have quite a lot in common. Your first encounter with them might arouse anxiety and suspicion – a whimper of despair, even – as you imagine what lies ahead. But overcome your prejudices, people, and years of unparalleled bodily pleasure and benefit await.
Beards and tattoos will be on the wane. Somewhere in the US a tornado will annihilate a trailer park. Politicians will be filmed at their desks highlighting passages in a document. There’ll be lime scooter incidents, 60% off everything at Briscoes, and Royal scandals. Service industries will be rendered even more frustrating by AI and automation. Kiwis will fall in love with electric-assisted Pashley bicycles. Whoa! What was that last one again?
About 20 years ago, a couple of fading sports stars stirred up the New Zealand television establishment with their particular brand of ‘masculine’ antics and braggadocio. It didn’t go down well with everyone. But blokeishness has come a long way since then. Just check out the way Duke Cannon positions its masterful range of gentlemen’s grooming products from the US. It’s blokeishness with an undercurrent of clever irony, positivity and self-deprecation. It’s brilliant.
