Hair, there and everywhere


Growing hair has not been a challenge for Mr Blackwell, especially if we are talking about hair growth anywhere on his body aside from the top of his noggin. Up there, the tide starting going out around 35 years ago and the remaining bare beach simply kept expanding.

Entering the mid-late 50s era of his life's toil in 2023, Mr Blackwell stepped out the shower a few months back, caught himself in the mirror and shrieked with horror. While it appeared that vast amounts of additional real estate had been clear felled on top of the enormous moon commonly known as his head, gorse, scrub and random weeds in a variety of colours seemed to be spreading across the flabby wasteland of the rest of his body.

An emergency meeting was called with Mrs Blackwell.

Google revealed Nutrafol as a potential witch-doctory option for arresting hair loss and upon ordering a subscription online and seeing the price, Mr Blackwell shrieked again, instantly gaining an additional 5cm of smooth forehead (now a fivehead).

A few days later, the beautifully packaged Nutrafol arrived. Would it begin replenishing the Eden-like forest that had once grown lush and tall on his fertile crown?

Mr Blackwell has always been an open-minded, give-it-a-go kind of chap, but sniffing out contemporary marketing claptrap like the word 'nutraceutical' and the term 'Hair Wellness' on the container dashed his hopes of an instant cure. "That's the kind of garbage I'd come up with," he privately mused.

Fast forward to now, almost six weeks since the four-capsule-per-day regime was implemented. The early results are in.

At the top of his Moeraki Boulder, fine new follicles have sprouted, not in the zones of 30 year barren infertility, but within the remaining crop of last hope. Mrs Blackwell exclaims her excitement daily, getting her fingers amongst the regenerating undergrowth. "Ooooo. Soooo fuzzy."

It works.

That's the upside.

But here it comes ...

There is now Blackwell hair EVERYWHERE. It's almost like he's been bathing in Yates Super Green Lawn Fertiliser. As quickly as he knocks it back, another sprouting blade shoots from a previously barren crevice. It's growing on the plains, it's matting in the valleys and it's invading the caves and canyons.

No side effect of this type had been listed on the container. So now, a new dilemma occupies Mr Blackwell's daily decision list. Continue treatment, enthrall his eternal love and become the famed werewolf of legend? Or allow nature to take its course and study the comb-over techniques of former presidents to provide shelter for his fuzz-free dome? 

Stay tuned, dear blog reader. The story continues. 




  • Coco

    Watching this post, now, with a disturbing amount of attention, as’ researching on behalf’ of resident moeraki boulder holder..

  • Millie Blackwell

    This blog picture is outrageous.
    Do you have any others?

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