Tweed Is Busting Out All Over

Outbursts of conviviality were widely reported last year, and expert Tweed commentators anticipate more of the same this Easter Saturday (16th April) when the second National Tweed Ride tally-hos its way through Greytown’s leafy lanes and country by-ways.

Witnessing last year’s event, Mr. M. Boverington-Serle, a landowner from Gladstone, remarked: “I say! What a wheeze!”

His observation was completely accurate. However, for clarity, organisers note that there was no actual wheezing evident as the ride is gentle on all parts of the body – even bodies that have toasted many sunsets with rich, cream-based cocktails.

“It’s all frightfully civilised,” said Mr. A. Blackwell, a business owner from Greytown and unofficial spokesperson on most things. “It’s not a race.

“The 65-minute cycle ride will conclude with a refined Gin Garden Party at Cobblestones Museum,” Mr. Blackwell added. “We encourage participants to dress up and park all disparaging thoughts until they return to their phones at the end of the day. Jolliness is mandatory.”

Mr. Blackwell concluded by noting that swift action is needed to ensure a place in the ride.

“It’s strictly limited to 100 participants under Red Light rules and registration is essential. Unfortunately, hired heavies will quietly but persuasively escort you to a nearby ditch if you just show up on the day. And disappointed people dressed in Tweed tend to take on a beetroot hue.”

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